a trepid return to bearblog
hi :) it's been a long time since i wrote anything, but i suddenly felt the urge to post proof of life. i've always been hesitant to write and post because i have the tendency to obsess over every word and care so much about exposure, but now that i'm two years older, i'm completely over it! (i'm obviously lying, i took five minutes to write one sentence and i will definitely be checking how much traffic this post gets.)
i reread my old posts and posted all the drafts i had saved from years ago, including some that i had published then unpublished out of...shame? it's a bittersweet feeling, looking back on who i was a few years ago. i like to think that i've grown a lot since then. in some ways i have, but in other ways, i can still see the melancholy, insecure child that i carry inside me to this day. i guess that's part of why i decided to publish all those drafts; it may not be my best writing, and maybe no one will ever read it, but i don't want to hide that part of me. i'm quite proud of her for making it this far.
this is just a quick re-introduction, so to end, here's a quick list of things that have changed since my last post:
- i moved, then moved again, then moved AGAIN in the same city, and now i work in texas teaching english at a dual-language immersion school! my california hometown friends were dubious about texas, but i enjoy it here, and this is the first time i've ever spent a second year at a full-time job.
- i adopted a cat earlier this year!! finally fulfilling one of my life goals. her name is juno, she's a torbie, and she's a bit of a tsundere. she doesn't love cuddling, but she loves being close. she makes my place feel like home, and i love her so much.
- i drive now?? i've always been a "paper driver", but moving to texas forced me to buy a used car and drive everywhere. i'm still too nervous to drive out of the city, but i get on the freeway every day to go to work, which is a big deal to me and anyone who knows me.
- at the risk of sounding horribly millenial (i'm gen z, i PROMISE), i really feel like an adult now. i mean, i have a full-time job, i drive, i have adult money that i have to budget but spend way too much of on flights and concerts, and most importantly, i'm not even scared of making phone calls anymore!