as an american, i know it's extremely rude to comment on someone's weight change or meal size, but it seems no such stigma exists in chinese culture. on one hand, of course these unsolicited remarks can still be hurtful. on the other hand, i've found that in certain contexts, making sure someone has eaten can be a gentle and subtle way to show that you care. i'm sure many children of color can relate to the way their mom brings them sliced fruit when they're up studying late, and i've always been touched when my professors see me and worriedly exclaim, "你瘦了！是不是學習太緊張了？" you've gotten so skinny! are your studies too intense?

for context, "foodie" is not a word i would use to describe myself. i don't find eating particularly enjoyable in any way, and meals are usually the first thing i ignore when i'm busy because i can take over an hour to finish eating. i always say that if humans didn't need to eat and sleep to survive, i would probably still sleep, but i wouldn't eat. because i have this mindset, i can't cook, and i live alone, i'm ashamed to say i probably average 1.8 meals a day. as such, "have you eaten yet?" is one of my favorite questions to ask and receive.

today was a really difficult day. it feels like i've spent more hours crying than not. i even skipped lunch because i was afraid i'd burst into tears in the cafeteria, which would simply be terrible for my street cred. when i told my friends, they lightly chastised me and encouraged me to eat dinner. after a hearty meal of carrots, potatoes, chickpeas, and steak all topped off with some ice cream, i headed to my poetry class. we read a poem that brought tears to my eyes for the nth time today, and i wanted to share it with you. i hope you have someone in your life that tells you, "try and eat more. i always miss you."

客從遠方來     A traveler came from afar
遺我雙鯉魚     and brought me a double carp.
呼兒烹鯉魚     I called my boy to cook it.
中有尺素書     Inside, there was a white silk letter.
長跪讀素書     I bent down and read it.
書中竟何如     What did the letter say?
上言加餐食     First, it says "Try and eat more."
下言長相憶     Last, it says "I'll always miss you."